Catch Me if Yukon Page 16

  Etienne ushered him into the room and sat him down on the bed. “Have you called Chief Burns?”

  Ennis shook his head. “I saw you and Emily come in here, so the only thing I could think of was to tell the two of you.”

  “Did the chief ask for your bank account information?”

  He shook his head again. “No.”

  Etienne fished his cell phone out of his pocket and tapped the screen. “This could be the break the police are looking for. If Lorraine was coerced into withdrawing the money, it should show up on the bank’s surveillance cameras, so let’s hope they still have the footage.” He held his forefinger up to pause the conversation as his call went through. “Etienne Miceli for Chief Burns. Tell him it’s urgent.”

  Ennis stared at Etienne, his face a road map of utter misery. I sat down on the bed beside him. “So here we find ourselves again, Ennis. Can I do anything for you?”

  “You got anything to calm a man’s nerves?” He held his hands out in front of him, doubling them into fists when they wouldn’t stop shaking. “You’re not packing any brandy, are you?”

  “The strongest thing I have is chamomile tea. You want to give it a try?”

  “I’ll try anything.”

  “But what I don’t have is water, so if you give me a minute, I’ll run over to the guest lodge to get some.” I hopped to my feet.

  “You don’t need to do that, Emily. Water out of the bathroom faucet is fine.”

  “It would be if there was any. Didn’t you get a notice?” I retrieved the paper from the desk and handed it to him. “Maybe your cabin wasn’t affected.”

  He scanned the sheet. “No water? Well, isn’t that great. The day just keeps getting better. I remember seeing a paper on the desk in my cabin, but I didn’t take the time to read it.”

  “Okay, then, so you just sit tight, and I’ll be back in a jif.” I scooted around Etienne, grabbed my shoulder bag, and headed out the door only to be greeted by the sight of a string of guests already hotfooting it toward the guest lodge, arms swatting the air around their heads violently enough to fend off entire squadrons of mosquitoes, which made me realize that the real danger in the wilds of Alaska wasn’t from disease-transmitting mosquitoes but from torn rotator cuffs.

  Nana poked her head out the door of her cabin and looked both ways before tiptoeing onto the deck.

  “Are you headed for the guest lodge?” I asked as I approached her.

  She pressed her forefinger against her lips as she continued to eye her surroundings. “Where’s your mother?”

  I gestured toward the opposite side of the complex. “Do you see that crush of reporters hanging out over there? They have Mom surrounded in that cabin.”

  “The coast is clear, then.” She looped her arm through mine and shuffled full speed ahead, pulling me with her. “C’mon, dear. Let’s get outta here before she sees me. I kept losin’ her yesterday, so she’ll probably be on a tear today wantin’ to make up for lost time.”

  “Etienne tells me you pulled quite the vanishing act in town yesterday.”

  “Yup. Don’t know how I done it, though. Guess I’m not such a big target no more on account of I keep shrinkin’.”

  “Did you buy anything good?”

  “You bet.” Opening her jacket, she held the flap wide so I could see the pink camouflage hip holster and belt that hugged her waist.

  I laughed as I eyed the cylindrical bulge in the holster. “What are you packing? Room freshener?”

  “Somethin’ better.” She removed a canister with a bright orange trigger from the sheath. “Bear spray.”

  “Seriously? There’s a commercial product on the market that repels bears? Who knew?” Iowa wasn’t exactly a hotbed of rogue bear activity.

  “Yup. The fella what was in the outfitters store said that one sustained blast on the nozzle and you got yourself a fog of super-hot, oil-based mist what covers an area up to thirty feet.”

  I slowed my steps as I pondered her description. “A fog of super-hot mist? Holy crap, Nana, that’s not animal repellent, it’s pepper spray! That’s like…like carrying a loaded gun around with you.”

  “No kiddin’?”

  “That stuff has the potential of being really dangerous. Are you sure you want it strapped to your waist? I mean, one accidental discharge and you could be looking at an emergency room visit with serious eye, nose, and lung damage. And you’d probably get socked with a slew of out-of-network medical bills that your supplemental insurance won’t cover. I get that you’d like to be prepared in case of attack. We’re in the middle of the woods where we’re the intruders. But do you really think this is the way to go?”

  “I didn’t buy this stuff to waste on no bear. I bought it to use on your mother.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “You know…if she don’t keep her distance.”

  I sucked in enough air to turn my lungs into balloons. “You will not blast Mom with pepper spray, Nana. Do you hear me? That is so unacceptable.” I held out my palm. “Hand it over.”

  “How ’bout I just threaten her.”

  “No.”

  “What if I see a bear?”

  “Run.”

  “Spoiled sport.” She slapped the canister into my palm with reluctance. “You want the belt too? It’s adjustable. Fits any body type.”

  “You can keep the belt.” I dropped the container into my shoulder bag.

  “Maybe I’ll give it to George. His wardrobe could use a little sprucin’ up.”

  “You think he’d wear a pink belt?”

  “Won’t bother him none. He’s color-blind.”

  As we stepped through the door of the guest lodge, Margi Swanson greeted us armed with a pad of sticky notes and a pen. “Are you here for the water or the potty? Potty people have to take a number. It’s only a one-seater. Water people can just grab and go.”

  I scanned the gathered attendance. The Dicks competing against each other at the foosball table. George and Osmond picking over pieces of a half-completed jigsaw puzzle. Grace and Lucille watching TV on a sofa in the far corner. Goldie and Orphie setting up pieces on a checkerboard while Florence stood over them, coaching. Helen standing guard by the restroom door.

  “Potty,” said Nana, holding out her palm. “How long’s the wait?”

  Margi perused the room as if she were a hostess gauging wait times for tables. “About twenty minutes.” She lowered her voice. “The fellas snagged all the low numbers, so it might be longer, especially if any of them forgot to pack their meds. But with my numbering system, we don’t actually have to stand in line, so we’re freed up to enjoy other activities while we wait.”

  “Isn’t that somethin’?” marveled Nana. “Just like Disneyworld. I swear, Margi, the more birthdays you celebrate, the smarter you get.”

  Margi beamed as she ripped off a note and handed it to Nana. “Number thirteen, Marion. I hope this isn’t an omen that the bathroom tissue is going to run out before you get your turn. What about you, Emily?”

  “I’m only here for water.” I spied a cooler brimming with bottled water on the floor just inside the door. “Does it matter how much I take?”

  “Serving number four,” Helen Teig announced in a robotic monotone as Alice Tjarks exited the restroom. “Number four? Serving number four.”

  “Bingo!” said Osmond, waving his sticky note above his head. As he shuffled happily toward Helen, Thor Thorsen barged through the front door like an angry wind. “Great place we’re booked into. Not even enough water to flush the toilet. Where’s the head?”

  Margi stared at him wide-eyed. “It’s over by Helen, but you have to take a—”

  He blew past us, storming across the floor like a Sherman tank. “Outta my way,” he snarled at Osmond before darting in front of him. Helen stepped calmly into the doorway, filling the space
like an NBA center working the paint.

  “You heard Margi,” she warned, standing her ground. “It’s first come, first serve. You can’t use the facilities without a number.”

  “The hell I can’t.”

  “It’s the rule.”

  “Says who?” With a Mexican standoff in the offing, he glanced toward the far corner of the room. “Whoa! Is that a rat?”

  “Eeeeeeee!” cried Grace and Lucille as they hoisted their legs off the floor and onto the sofa.

  “Eeeeeeee!” cried Goldie and Orphie as they upended the checkerboard while jumping out of their chairs.

  “Eeeeeeee!” cried Helen as she fled across the floor in a desperate attempt to escape.

  Thor walked into the restroom and slammed the door behind him.

  George glared at the closed door, his mouth hanging open in disbelief. “That’s just wrong.”

  “Do you see the rat?” cried Helen as she sheltered behind Margi.

  Nana bobbed her head toward the opposite wall. “He’s in the potty.”

  “Please, everyone,” Florence apologized as she began picking up checkers off the floor. “He’s not like this all the time. I’ll be happy to forfeit my number to make up for his cutting in line ahead of all of you.”

  Indignant sniffs. Cold stares. Stony silence.

  Thor Thorsen was proving himself to be much more disagreeable than I’d imagined. Which begged the question: Was a man who felt entitled enough to flout small conventions the kind of person who could easily flout more significant conventions? Like…the Sixth Commandment?

  The front door banged open and Bernice sashayed in, sporting an oversized tote bag over her shoulder and what could almost pass as a smile on her face.

  I hung my head in a pitiful show of surrender. Yup. Just what I needed right now. A scathing tongue lashing from Bernice Zwerg on the inadequacies of our accommodations.

  Pausing just inside the threshold, she ranged a suspicious look around the room. “Why is it so quiet in here? Did someone else die?”

  “Are you here for the water or the potty?” asked Margi in a breathless rush.

  Bernice narrowed her eyes to a curious squint. “Why is Alice standing on a chair?”

  “Potty people have to take a number. It’s only a one-seater. Water people can just grab and go.”

  Shifting her gaze to the cooler against the wall, Bernice arched one thinly plucked eyebrow. “I don’t know what’s going on here, but I don’t need a number. I just want to collect a few bottles of water.” Standing over the cooler, she began grabbing bottles and stuffing them into her tote. One…two…six…eight. “Isn’t it lovely here? The crisp air? The quaint cabins.” Ten…twelve. “The feeling of being one with nature.” Fourteen…sixteen. “The complimentary water.”

  Nana cocked her head. “What are you fixin’ to do with all them bottles? Fill the hot tub?”

  “Au contraire, Marion. The poor souls who’ve posted themselves outside Margaret and Bob’s cabin look so parched that I consider it part of my Christian duty to offer them free beverage service. Who knows? They might be so appreciative, they could decide to write a feature story about a member of the tour group who actually wants to talk to them.” Eighteen…twenty.

  “That’s bribery,” scolded Margi.

  Bernice shrugged. “Whatever works.” Twenty-four. Twenty-six.

  Nana shuffled over to the cooler to peek inside. “You didn’t leave no water for no one else.”

  Bernice rolled her eyes. “There’s obviously more where that came from. Just tell the management the cooler needs to be refilled.”

  Nana fisted her hands on her hips and glared at Bernice over the tops of her wirerims. “I’m not tellin’ them management folks no such thing.”

  “All right, all right. Geesch.” She pulled a bottle out of her tote and placed it back in the cooler. “Happy now?”

  “Are you sure you don’t need to take a number for the little girls’ room?” Margi asked as Bernice heaved the tote bag over her shoulder.

  “I’m sure,” she grunted. And with that, she headed out the door, listing to port at a 30-degree angle.

  Nana snatched the bottle out of the cooler and handed it to me. “You’d best take this before she decides to come back.”

  “I can’t believe she had the nerve to take all the water,” complained Margi as she eyed the empty container.

  “I can’t believe she said something nice about our accommodations,” I quipped.

  “I can’t believe she didn’t need to visit the potty,” said Nana. “Say what you want about Bernice Zwerg, but for someone as short as she is, she’s got some long pipes.”

  By the time I arrived back at the cabin, Etienne was off the phone, but Ennis still looked as if he was about to suffer a nervous breakdown. “Got the last one,” I said as I twisted the cap off my bottle of water and poured the contents into the reservoir of the coffee maker. “So did the chief have anything noteworthy to say about the missing money?”

  “He’s expanding the investigation from a missing person case to a possible kidnapping,” said Etienne. “The surveillance footage from the bank will be invaluable if it hasn’t been automatically taped over, and this would provide him with a definitive timeline. He’s also going to check with the businesses across the street to see if any of them have security cameras he might access. He hadn’t covered the bank angle yet, so Ennis’s discovery has given him a new avenue to explore. All in all, he sounded hopeful that there might be a break in the case soon.”

  Shoulders slumped, neck bent, Ennis shook his head. “Not soon enough to save Lorraine. I’ve got a feeling in my gut…a feeling that I’m never going to see her again.”

  “Please don’t think that,” I pleaded. “They’ll find her, Ennis. You’ll see.”

  “But what kind of condition will she be in? Are they going to find her in the same condition they found Delpha?”

  A pang of dread slithered through me, coiling into a fist in my stomach. Dear God, I hoped not.

  fourteen

  “This is the Natural History tour of Denali National Park and Preserve,” announced the young man who’d just seated himself behind the steering wheel of our bus, replacing the young female driver who’d picked us up at the cabins. “So if you signed up for the Tundra Wilderness Tour or the Kantishna Experience, you’ve boarded the wrong bus. My name is Kyle, and I’ll be your guide for the next four hours.” Outfitted with a wireless mic, he pulled away from the park’s visitor center and banged a sharp right onto the paved roadway.

  Our coach was vintage mini school bus with genuine Naugahyde bench seats, no overhead racks or cupholders, no side exit door, and no lavatory, which could prove to be an enormous problem for everyone except Bernice. Ennis had agreed to join the group after downing three cups of chamomile tea that calmed his nerves considerably, although I didn’t have the heart to tell him that his cell phone probably wouldn’t work inside the park, so he’d be incommunicado for a lot longer than he wanted to be. Mom had emerged from her cabin like the Marvel Comics version of Mary Poppins, prepared to swat reporters away from Dad with her umbrella, but happily, Bernice had proved to be such an annoyance with her bottled water ploy that the entire press pool ran back to the diner en masse to escape her, so Mom and Dad were spared having to run the gauntlet.

  After an agonizing discussion, Etienne and I decided to hold off informing the group that Delpha’s death had been ruled a homicide. They’d received so much bad news already that we wanted them to be able to enjoy a few hours of calm before Lieutenant Kitchen showed up tomorrow, and with no cell towers in the park threatening to deliver the latest news to their phones, a short blackout period might be achievable.

  Ahhhh. Peace. Quiet. Tranquility.

  I could hear them complaining about it already.

  “There’s only one road
going in and out of the park,” Kyle continued. “It begins at the park entrance and ends at mile marker 92, where there’s a few private lodges to accommodate overnight guests. We’ll only be going seventeen miles into the park on this tour, but if you keep your eyes open, there’s a good chance you’ll spot the big five of Alaskan animals: grizzly bears, moose, wolves, caribou, and Dall sheep.”

  “What kind of sheep?” Dick Teig called out.

  “Dall,” said Kyle. “They’re a breed of—”

  “I know what they are,” interrupted Grover Kristiansen with obvious excitement. “They’re a close relative to bighorn sheep and are sometimes mistaken for mountain goats because of their ability to navigate rocky terrain.”

  “That’s right,” said Kyle. “Dall sheep—”

  “—have whiter coats than mountain goats, and their horns are lighter in color,” Grover interrupted again. “Mountain goats have black horns that are slightly curved, while Dall rams have massive horns that can curl into full circles. And both animals have cloven hooves, which is the main reason why they’re able to scale steep ter—”

  “Thanks for sharing that.” Kyle cut him off as he eyed him in his rearview mirror. “As I was saying, the animals are roaming out there in the tundra, so if you think you see one, tell me to stop so I can pull over to the side of the road and give you a chance to take pictures.”

  “What should we say if we want you to stop?” asked Helen.

  “How about stop,” said Kyle.

  “How specific do we have to be?” Goldie followed up. “Like…should we say, Stop! I see a moose! Or Stop! I see a mountain goat!”